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He gave me money to help out with my living expenses. Do you like everyone at your job? But you still work with them, right? I get paid for it. I do it for the money. And not only the money. People who make seven dollars an hour are oppressed by the patriarchy.

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But I was held back because of the stigma if anyone finds out. You just need a computer. As the debate over whether the United States should decriminalize sex work intensifies, prostitution has quietly gone mainstream among many young people, seen as a viable option in an impossible economy and legitimized by a wave of feminism that interprets sexualization as empowering.

In broad terms, the drive for decriminalization says it will make the lives of sex workers safer, while the so-called abolitionist movement to end prostitution contends the opposite. The Times Magazine piece elicited an outcry from some feminists, who charged that it minimized the voices of women who have been trafficked, exploited, or abused. A ripple effect may already be in motion, but it looks more like a wave. A string of feminist-sex-worker narratives have been weaving through pop culture over the last few years, as typified by Secret Diary of a Call Girl —11 , the British ITV2 series based on the memoir by the pseudonymous Belle de Jour.


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Christine likes sex work so much she leaves law school to do it full-time. Both shows feature graphic sex scenes that sometimes look like porn. Since Seeking Arrangement launched in , practically a genre of sugar-baby confessionals has emerged. On Tumblr, babies exchange tips on the best sugaring sites and how much to charge. They post triumphant pictures of wads of cash, designer shoes, and bags.

On Facebook, there are private pages where babies find support for their endeavors as well. In interviews, young women and men involved in sex work—not professionals forced into the life, but amateurs, kids—in Austin, New York, and Los Angeles, talked mostly about needing money. They were squeezed by college tuition, crushed by student loans and the high cost of living.

Many of their parents were middle- or upper-middle-class people who had nothing to spare for their children, derailed by the economic downturn themselves.

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Some of us will have them with the same person. This is because her thinking went against long-established relationship wisdom, namely that if you fix the relationship through talking therapy, then the sex will fix itself. Perel does not agree. But if you fix the sex, the relationship transforms. We meet in a boutique hotel in Amsterdam, where Perel orders her food in fluent Dutch. A relationship therapist who you might fancy, shocker! We begin talking about her podcast series.

Series three, released next month, is slightly different to the last two. This time round Perel very deliberately chooses couples at different stages, because she wants to show an arc of a relationship, all the way to its end. That context often gives a script about how one should think about suicide, about gender, about divorce and so forth.

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Another is a mother and her child, who does not identify as either gender. Another couple, with a young child, have divorced, but seem to get along much better now: why?

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Perel finds her podcast therapees via her Facebook page: they apply in their thousands. Her podcast producers sift through, using guidelines that Perel suggests them: this time round she knew she wanted to cover infertility and also suicide. You will be giving so much to others, as well.


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She loves the format. You hear them but you see you. It reflects you in the mirror. But when you write a book, that is the first part of exposure. Then comes TED and the podcast. Perel is 60 now; I wondered how she found being a relationship therapist when she was younger, in her 20s.

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Interestingly, she came to therapy via drama. Drama and collective trauma. In Belgium, they became part of a community of 15, Jewish refugees. There were no grandparents around, there were no uncles. This was not uncommon. They waited to get their periods back, and then they had a child.

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Perel thinks this was because the parents needed to establish themselves in society. You'd see them come out, and say 'Woops, I forgot my mobile or wallet', and then go back in. I'd see men sitting on the chair near the toilet just waiting. I know they were making plans on a website to meet here. A security guard in the store said the toilet had to be closed because "we had problems with people in there Asked if the problem was due to men using the toilet as a hook-up point, he replied: "The whole city has got that problem.

Mr West said: "There has been a range of security concerns surrounding that toilet and we have closed it pending a review. There were some customer concerns about anti-social activity in there. Ideally we wouldn't have had to close it; it is a temporary measure. Other prominent places used by subscribers of the website include the toilets of Westfield stores and Marrickville Metro, the library at the University of NSW, various Fitness First gyms, and Bankstown Airport's rest area.