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Our needs are invisible. When mental-health charities are planning what to provide for we are not on the radar. Nobody is looking. Franks is setting up a research project in association with Brunel, Southbank, Aston and Greenwich Universities into mental-health issues for gay people.

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Working with David Smallwood, he is also in the planning stages for running velvet rage workshops around the country in conjunction with Attitude magazine. If gay men are going to have to self-diagnose and treat their own mental-health issues, lending a well-thumbed copy of The Velvet Rage might present the first Elastoplast to the problem. I start dealing with gay men that have issues around sex or drugs or alcohol and within five minutes I know that we are into their childhood.

So I think that every gay man to some extent will have been affected by velvet rage. Downs has assumed an almost messianic place in the lives of those who have absorbed his thinking.

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The result is that gayness appears to be a psychological as much as sexual condition. Now Downs has identified a clear relationship with shame. That is my concern as a psychologist. Downs is currently writing his follow-up book. It will be called Peter Pan Becomes a Man.

The new book really delves into our emotional adolescence and how we seem to be stuck in a cycle and how it stops us leading deeply attached and healthy relationships.

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For now, though, Downs is delighted he got his publishers to change the artwork on the paperback edition of The Velvet Rage from the original bland illustration of a man in a suit. It now features a black-and-white photograph of young schoolboys in a row — one standing out in his shocking-pink tie. Was it a gay man exploring his own velvet rage who designed it? Sexually, I thought, fine, but not the kissing, cuddling, walking down the street side of things.

I dated some girls and even got engaged, but my life was just about hanging round with my mates drinking beer, going on stag nights, that kind of thing. My first grown-up gay experience was in my 20s when I was working as a builder. I was painting some offices in Croydon at night because there was no one in them. Then by coincidence I met Michael. After six months I knew he was the one.

And then one day someone from work saw me leaving Revenge, a gay club in Brighton — so the cat was out of the bag. I never told my mum and dad. They both died years ago and I often wonder if they knew. But my brothers are completely accepting of it. I was a late starter.

Families, policy and the law

I grew up in the 80s when the tabloids constantly portrayed gay men as paedophiles and freaks and so thinking you were gay was fairly horrifying. I did a degree in music at Leeds and spent my last year at a music college in Holland, where I gradually fell for a Turkish baritone. He said he was sad I was going and declared his undying love for me. It was incredible. I sensed it was coming and when it did I felt every part of me tingling.

It was like a bomb going off. We spent the night together and then I got the ferry back to Hull and that was the end of that. But it was the watershed moment. It turned out my friends had all worked it out for themselves. My brother was the most difficult. He was 13 years older than me and he was my hero growing up. He is a devout Baptist and I thought it might be difficult in case he thought any less of me or stopped me seeing my nephews. I told him in Pizza Hut. He flinched slightly and that was the biggest reaction I had.

He had no issue at all with it. My parents were the last to find out. My mum understood as she had a gay brother and my dad came round.

I still go to football matches and drink bitter. It was very isolating. I became anorexic, found it difficult to socialise and got bullied a lot. One of those nights, when I was about 18, one of them suggested going to a gay pub up the road called the Vauxhall Tavern.

I went into a bar called the Yard on Rupert Street. The people inside were nearer my age and it felt a bit more relaxed and fun. I struck up a conversation with a guy just a couple of years older then me. He was attractive and funny, and just a regular bloke like me. He became the first man I slept with.

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It was the start of a few years of socialising on the gay scene. My life is great now. I have a rewarding job, great friends and family and a wonderful partner. I think she knows.

'I couldn't be cool if I tried' | LGBT rights | The Guardian

Queer As Folk made me realise I was gay. I was called queer, beaten up and had death letters and gay porn sent to my house.

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